In Preparation of 2014, 03.

The new year will be here far too quickly. I'm not even sure where 2013 went, let alone the last 3, 5, 10 years.  It's been a blur of too much, not enough, and just living.  It needs to have some sort of middle medium, but I'm not sure how to get to that. It's a slow process of growing as a person.  With work, with friends, with family.  It's all connected to who I am as a person. I am trying to figure out who I am.  I thought I knew, but the more things happen, the less I really realize about myself. I don't even know how to begin to define me. My life has involved the internet since I was 15 years old. I will be 32 in 6 months (how that's possible, I'll never know) and I can't even tell you what my hobbies are.

If you'd asked me that question when I was 15, it would have been an easy answer: webdesign, reading, and writing. I wanted to go into webdesign and/or become a writer, so making fansites and fanfic was all I did in my spare time.  I wouldn't mind getting into webdesign again, but it's so much more complex now.  Who cares about flash (of the non-Barry Allen sort) and php and all those image mapped layouts. I certainly don't. I didn't when it was becoming the fad, nor do I care now, 10 years later.

Now, I haven't HTMLed in years, outside of copy/paste tumblr coding, or italicing words in 500 words or less drabbles. I don't write enough.  I don't write at all anymore. I miss it, but I don't have time for it, not the time a writer should be able to devote to fine-tuning their craft. I might tinker with Arrow fanfic, because ever since Grant Gustin graced our screens as Barry Allen aka The Flash, I haven't been this obsessed in, like, ever.  But even just time to fanfic seems impossible right now.

So with these thoughts, I want to make a list.  A list of things I want to accomplish, things I want to start to learn, things I'd like to brush up on and relearn. I'd like to make an actual life online again.  I want to make a real life finally, too.  I want to make friends, do things, go out, meet someone.  Do all the things I should've been doing doing the last ten years of my life.

As our Raggedy Man regenerates on Christmas day, maybe it's time I do the same thing in real life, too.